September 17, 2010

I consider it the hardest but the most rewarding experience of my life. Giving birth and caring for my own child.

I used to think that I will stay single forever and being a mom is the least that I can be. It’s not that I don’t like children. In fact, I used to take care of my nieces and nephews. I also went to Singapore to help my uncle and aunt take care of their daughter. I even thought looking after other people’s children (relatives or not) will be my fate.

Now I know that it is just a preparation for me as a mother. I married late. It took almost 2 years before I got pregnant. When the day I knew that I have a baby inside of me, there were mixed emotions that lingered in my heart. I don’t know if I’m happy or not; worried or excited; shocked or amazed.

After 8 months of nurturing a soul inside my body (my baby was premature and I suffered preeclampsia on the 7^th month of pregnancy), I finally saw my child. It was painful on the first strike of labor (which lasted for 2 days) but when he was finally out, I felt so much joy and gratitude that we both survived. 

My husband was not around when I gave birth. He needed to work overseas on the second month of conception in order to give us a better future. Though he is not with us physically, he always checked on us whenever he had the time. 

I wondered where I got my strength in taking care of my baby full time, without having a reliever or household help. Maybe mothers like me naturally have this skill in managing time and joggling duties without compromising the attention and care for her children. Thanks to the experiences I had in taking care of children at a young age.

second trimester

September 17, 2010

Mye Jerico 

4 Months Old 

Happy Baby

Are you feeling stressed out? It may be due to work, family, finances or relationship? Whatever the reason, we can’t help but feel it.

We have different coping mechanisms toward stress. Some people turn to eating comfort food; shopping; watching TV shows, movies or videos on YouTube; playing games like badminton or chess; running, biking or hiking; and singing your heart out in a Videoke bar. However you like to do it, there is only one goal: Relax and Take a Break.

I have my fair share of stressors around me. I often feel numb and helpless every time it comes around. I tried different approaches in dealing with stress. Playing games on a tablet, watching Korean TV series, cross-stitching, writing poems and even trying to cook any recipe I saw on the internet. I often neglect everything around me. I only focus on my daily routine: waking up, eating, taking care of my child, doing household chores, marketing, looking after my small store, sleeping and thinking about my problems. It is really boring and monotonous. I don’t even know if I have a social life. I seldom meet friends (I only have a few) and not really comfortable of small talks with people I don’t know.

Then recently, I came across a post on Facebook, where a friend of mine shared her journey to Alaska by posting pictures of nature (flowers, fruits, fish, streams and mountains). I felt so relieved and thought of going outside the house and checked our very own garden. I took a camera and started taking pictures of plants and flowers. I never thought that nature itself is therapeutic and suddenly cleared all worries in my mind. I was able to at least stop for a while, breath and see how beautiful the world is. All creations complement each other. It made me understand that life should be lived by the day. Other living creatures does not worry too much about what to do or even what to eat on the coming days because it will be provided. What matters is today and how we make the most from it.